Pre-baking a baby

Or should it be par-baking? Anyway.
Getting pregnant should be exciting. And it is, don't get me wrong. It's an amazing new step in you and your partner's life together, but mostly? It's weird. Physically and mentally weird.

You begin by taking special vitamins that are advertised to make your body ready to carry a tiny human. But really, they're gigantic horse-sized pills that I believe to taste like something you'd find on the bottom of your shoe after you mow the lawn or do some heavy duty weeding. Plus, apparently, according to the internet (thanks a lot!) you have to find ones that are all natural, have vitamin X, but not mineral Q, and preferably don't cost the same amount as a very nice meal out. Good luck with those, by the way.

Then, it's the mental conundrum. As a female in her mid-twenties, for the past 10 or so years, I had a constant stream in the back of my head, "Don't get pregnant. Getting pregnant would be terrible. Condoms condoms condoms." While useful in high school, college, and beyond, having that voice interrupt my thoughts now, when I'm happily married, employed and able to care for a child is totally unfortunate! And in case you're wondering (probably not, but anyway), asking your husband, "Are you sure?!" in a panicked voice kind of ruins the mood, if you know what I'm saying. That mental shift from wanting to have a baby in a hypothetical sort of way to actually trying is really difficult. I suppose part of me still thinks of myself as a 19 year old girl, out of high school, traveling through Europe with my whole life ahead of me. But I am ready. Scott and I both are. Just getting out of the mindset is proving to be more difficult than I expected.

When you're trying/thinking about trying/longing to try, prepare to see babies everywhere. Ikea is apparently not only a Mecca for DIY-ers and those who don't want to spend more than $100 on a couch, but also for those who are VERY pregnant. Everywhere I looked there was another mama-to-be, pushing a cart laden with any number of organizational materials. Apparently, Ikea is the one-stop-shop for those who nest.

But it's not all weird. It's a wonderful, intense, emotional time in a couple's lives. Preparing to prepare for a new member of your family is a crazy and lovely thought. Making the dream you've been dreaming of for years actually begin to happen is the best feeling ever. Second, I imagine, only to holding your new baby for the first time.

Reading and a Rant

Disclaimer, before anyone bites my head off for being anti-Julia Child. I'm not. I'm anti-Julie.

I just finished Julie & Julia. The book, not the movie. My mom and I saw the movie when it came out (last summer?) and enjoyed the Julia parts a whole heck of a lot more than the Julie parts. When my mom grabbed the book at a book swap a few months ago, I snagged it when she was done reading it. And man...do I have an opinion about this book.

Is Julie the most ungrateful, annoying awful woman imaginable? Well, probably not, but damn if she isn't close. When she's not screaming at her husband, complaining about her job, and whining at the fact that her freaking aspics don't turn out aspic-y enough, she's completely lost sight of the fact that this crazy project she took on was something SHE TOOK ON. She chose to do it, and she could have chosen to quit, rather than almost sacrifice her marriage and sanity. But no. She screeches about pastry dough. And then drinks. She laments cutting up a lobster while it's alive, and then does it anyway. She yells at her husband, who, if I were in his position, would have had his bags packed and his lawyer on speed-dial. She yells at her mother. If I yelled at my mother, while she was trying to explain that in fact, this project is TERRIBLE for my mental health, she would scream right back, and tell me that I was being a crazy bitch, and until I wanted to apologize, she'll step out of my life.

Am I the only one who had this reaction to heinous Julie? I can't be. She's as bad as the woman from Eat, Pray, Love. Don't even get me started on her.

June Resolutions

It just makes sense to me to make two sets of resolutions. One set on January 1st—the ones that you always mean to keep but never do (mine usually involve some sort of weight loss/gym attendance/spiritual transformation theme), and one in June. The June resolutions welcome the summer—sun, outdoor activities, a brighter outlook on life rather than the dark, dismal view one usually has in January in the Pacific Northwest. Granted, our weather here still thinks we’re in March, but that’s another story.

My June (or half-yearly) resolutions are:

1. Transition into organic, all-natural foods. Especially avoid high-fructose corn syrup and mysterious dyes. I won’t throw out the things in my fridge and cupboard that do have them (because what a waste of money that would be), but as I finish the last of the mayonnaise in my jar, I’ll find a more “healthy” alternative to replace it with. Although, I’m not sure if there even is a healthy alternative to mayo…I know there’s Vegannaise, but what exactly is IN that??
2. 2. Dwell on the positive about myself. This is going to be hard for me. I’m not really a negative person, but I do find that I focus a lot on what people think of me, then I pick apart myself to the point of a slight depression. Instead, I’ll try and do this: “Do I have a bit of an attitude when people ask me the same question for the 18th time and expect to get a different answer? Sure! But it doesn’t mean that I’m not nice/sweet/funny/caring. This is just practice for when I have children.” I’ll compliment myself rather than beating myself up over something mundane.
3. I won’t harass my husband about said future children. Do I want babies? Desperately. More than I can possibly make him understand. Since trying to make him understand usually devolves into my mentioning it every 15.67 seconds (which for some reason, he doesn’t appreciate—go figure), I’ll keep it to myself and peruse online at mama blogs and teensy tiny little baby socks. And make a HUGE list of bookmarks on my computer for later.
4. And lastly, since we will be trying to have a baby soon (!), if it doesn’t happen right away, I won’t beat myself up. I will do my very best not to expect a miracle pregnancy right out of the gate, and I’ll wait an appropriate amount of time before bringing my fears to my husband and my doctor. I’ll focus on being healthy and enjoying time with my husband and dogs before we add another human to the mix.

For some reason, those resolutions seem more attainable than the vague, “Lose 20 pounds by X date” goals that I always manage to set for myself and subconsciously forget. There is something tangible and real about making goals you know you can accomplish. And of course, celebrating the accomplishing!